Introspection

Hiatus

2009-05-06T09:17:00.002+08:00

Dear Avid and Beloved readers,

I will no longer publish anything to this blog although i love to publish everything of my insight.. over here...

if ever you wanted to (if and only if)... read any of my humble writings.. just look for me in the facebook.. :)

Take care..

Of Fasting

2008-09-05T10:47:00.003+08:00

Got this from an email:

A Dialogue happened:

“You neither eat nor drink the whole day?” Tan asked me.

“Yes. The whole day. But not at night. Only from dawn to sunset”, I replied.

“How can you survive? Can you survive?”, Tan asked again.

I smiled.

“Well, it’s not just you. Even Habib Bourguiba, the late President of Tunisia who was also a ‘Muslim’, convinced that fasting is against productivity. You know the history?”, I took my turn asking Tan my question.

“How should I know? Tell me!”, he said.

In 1961, Habib Bourguiba made a controversial statement claiming that fasting should not be observed for it reduces productivity. He then appeared on television with his cabinet, eating and drinking during Ramadhan.

“Why so harsh?”, Tan was shocked.

“I don’t know. Was it out of ignorance or arrogance? Perhaps a combination of both”, I replied.

Even though fasting is there in the name of Lent among Christians, it is always the Muslim’s version that cultivates questions and debates.

In order to understand about the real meaning of fasting, one should agree that it has something to do with our own paradigm and world view. The way we view things; like I always quote, “what you see is what you get”.

VIEWING FASTING IN MANY WAYS

If you see fasting as a way for better diet, you will benefit that from fasting. But fasting will only be a mechanism of improving your diet.

If you see fasting as a way to save your daily expense by breaking your fast daily in the mosque, then you will be able to achieve that. But that’s it. No more than that.

If you see fasting as a way for you to gain reward or ‘pahala’ from Him, then it is a good motive and sound intention. But reward and pahala is something that you can hardly measure in this physical and worldly life. You don’t see someone obese out of pahala. It is something else!

And strangely, the last 10 days of Ramadhan are the most rewarded and full of pahala, but then you’ll see the mosques are empty.

So, what Ramadhan and fasting are all about?

If you see fasting as abstaining one from eating, drinking, having sexual intercourse during the daytime, and reducing the wrongdoings of backbiting what so ever… that is the definition of fasting. But it only explains the mechanism of fasting as ritual.

Let us take a look at the origin of Muslims’s version of fasting. Al-Quran says:

“O you who believe! Observing As-Saum (the fasting) is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become the people with the quality of Taqwa” (Al-Baqarah 2: 183)

Fasting is a mechanism to achieve Taqwa. You abstain yourself from eating and drinking, in order to achieve Taqwa. How is that?

TAQWA

Taqwa can be defined in many ways. But the conversation between Ubay bin Kaab and Umar al-Khattab was a good summary about the essence of Taqwa. Once, Umar asked Ubay what he knows about Taqwa. Ubay replied by asking him, “Have you walked through thorny path?”

Umar answered, “Yes, indeed”

Ubay then asked him, “What did you do?”

Umar replied, “I tucked up (my garment) and did my best (to avoid thorns)”

Thereupon Ubay said, “That is Taqwa!”

Our life is a journey. Like someone who is driving from a place to another. Throughout the journey, he will meet many road signs that might instruct him to do against his will. He wants to drive at full speed, but a sign says, “No, the limit is only 80km/h”.

He wants to arrive as early as possible but suddenly a red light instructs him to stop and let others move first.

Someone who is wise and on top of his rational thinking, would never ever see all the road signs as challenge to his right exercising his freedom. The truth is, the road signs are there to help him achieve safety throughout the journey until he reaches the destination.

The same thing applied to our big picture of this life. Do’s and don’ts of Islam are not the obstruction and challenge to the access of his freedom of choice. They come from the Creator who knows better what is good and what is bad in this life. They are there for our safety, peace and harmony.

Someone who has the quality of Taqwa will take his journey like someone who walks through thorny path. He is a person with a full of consciousness about what is good and what is bad around him. He must also have a good self control, like a person who is good in controlling his car steering.

This is the essence of fasting. You learn to exercise your self control.

SELF CONTROL

If someone does not take his lunch because there is nothing to eat, then it causes him tiredness and anger.

But a believer who chooses not to eat while he has everything to do so, for the sake of obeying his Lord, then he is exercising his ability to control himself against some of his desire.

You can eat, but you don’t eat. You can drink, but you learn not to drink, so that you can tell yourself that you are a proactive person. Not a reactive one.

A reactive person will get mad when something stimulates him to anger. He will be sad and out of control when something causes him sadness.

He has no ‘pause’ button. He has no ability to control himself to choose a better reaction. His actions are determined by things around him. He is not the one who controls himself. He is occupied by others. He is under the real occupation of others.

A Muslim is not an effective Muslim if he does not have a control over his own actions. He must be a proactive Muslim.

Return back you self control… you are the strongest!

Fasting makes us stronger, if we correct the way we view it.

Fasting is 30 days intensive training course for the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Muslim.

Of Friendstripper...

2008-02-22T10:10:00.003+08:00

Forgive the typo. The erroneous is intentional. I am not trying to be a pervert or promote obscenity. I am talking about friendster. Firstly, I want to apologize, if any of you respectful readers are one of its users. If so, I hope you will not read or scroll further, because my next arguments are inflammatory.

Friendster is a site created by people who believe in connecting and having fun with the virtual life at the same time. (I do not bother to look for whom.. ). Currently, there are over 1 million users (or more.. again I do not bother) in which had dedicated their daily routine vividly to friendster. Users update their lifestyle, keep it as an online diary or journal, put their favorite photos and some are going to the extent of having an online pets. (or don't they?).

So, at the moment, I would consider the acceptance is astronomical. The number of users are rapidly growing in seconds. This also means that friendster is no longer a mere fag. It has been a must for every virtual citizen. Nevertheless, it is boundless, borderless and free-of-charge.

But, enough of the acceptance. I shall say that I am not one of the friendster users. Although, I do have a friendster account before, but I stopped using just a few years ago.

Why did I stop? I was young once. At that moment, I was dangling with my youth and sometimes gone frisky . Friendster was a site for me to search for new friends. Ok, that is so busted! Yes, I was looking for 'girlfriends'. But the search did not take me nowhere. Then, I was getting fed up and taken aback. So, I was not going for friendster anymore just because my initial intention was incorrect. It was a remorse and I stopped logging in to friendster.

Logging in to friendster also had exposed me to the virtual world of liars and imperfectness. Trough the experience, I found that, only 2 out of 10 are true about its users. Which means I am so expose to 80% of lies. That is so unacceptable. SO be it! Leave it be, am I no longer a fan. I am not going to rectify or make things straight. It is already there and I shall move on.

In the latest event, I was asked by one of my chatter friends about having the friendster account. I quickly replied "NO, I hate 'Friendstripper'!" I am saying that, "I do not want to stripped further by an 'equivocator' " (too strong aye?). Then she said to me that I am a loser. So what? Do I care? Never mind that. Then we moved on.

But that does not mean I am against the globalism. I cannot afford to do that. I must adapt or I will be left behind. Instead of having a crave for friendster, I logged in to facebook instead. They are so nice. They have all of this applications which is so addictive. This is the latest craze. In fact I have listed it down as my Top 5 websites I visits everyday. Currently, I have almost 30 friends and its growing.

I hope this will last and all my craps goes there.. and my hopes for the facebook will not turn to a 'friendstripper' as well.. (or did they already met that?).

Add me at my facebook. (MOHD DIAN NAIS Lah)..
C u there.
Adios.
Regards,
Cemillion

Medsyam's Tag

2008-02-21T10:48:00.003+08:00

I have been tagged.

Usually, I do not do this because I had never been tagged before. But, Medsyam had challenged me to scrawl some "merepek" (crappy stuffs) here. So, here Goes:

5 WebSites that I Always Visited:

1) www.facebook.com.

- to me, I take it as a real Live "Role Playing Game". The Main character is me and I connect with new people there. Plus, the application are addictive too.. Try it yourself..take sometime to understand how it works and you will be in my boots too..

2) www.ptdportal.com/forum

- this is where I belong. I am too obsess with this. It provides me the information latest events of the PTD world as well as my career stood.. I crave for this and my posts there almost reach at 7,000 posts.

3) www.dikirbarat.net/forum

- this is my latest craze. I must log in to find out about the latest development of "dikir barat" perfomance. The forum does not confine to "dikir barat" only, but also all the stuffs about Kelantan's cultural items including, "Gasing" (Tops and spins), "Silat" (Malay Martial Arts), "Wayang Kulit" (Shadow Puppets) and etc.

- registration is free and there will be updates about perfomances all around Klang Valley.. and some of them I will perform myself.. as a singer... :D

4) www.tradesignum.com

- Free Charting Tools for Bursa Malaysia Fans.. no need to explain further because it is too dry..

5) imageshack.us

- Free hosting site for pictures...

there.

Well, Medcham.. thanks to you.. it really does sounds crappy...

LoL

I want to tag

1) Nazs (Ex-Classmate and mummy to be soon)

2) Chech

3) faruq

4) Lola

5) K-Lynn

Of Fire Fighting Syndrome

2008-01-15T14:01:00.000+08:00

I do not mean to demean or demoralise anybody. Neither do I (literally) mean that I am performing it in action. It is a one of a symbolic phrase to tell about something else.

By definition, "fire fighting syndrome" means "a staff in a company rushing from task to task, not completing one before another interrupts them." Concurrently I suffered to both of the symptoms and the syndrome.

I definitely do not want to point my finger to any of my superiors or my subordinates, but i would rather pin it to my forehead for not being able to cope with the pressures.

But there are some certain factors which do contributed towards the severity of this syndrome, of which I will never tolerate such as:

(i) You would never know what is which.. and which is what.. especially in priority.

All tasks that were given to you is labelled as "Most Urgent Matter", "No. 1 Priority", "Top Demand", "critical", "Pronto" and so on. Those prompts are the signs for you to switch on your engine, push your clutch and the expectation was knobbed up to gear number five. If that is not crucial enough, try to drive 5 to 6 cars at one time by yourself. Imagine that!

Top to down arrangement is the most crucial element to expedite the organization's needs. Nevertheless, later on somebody will fill up the empty cups. Regardless, of how tranquil the business should be. The commotion will always be there and only efforts and hopes are the best instruments to be used to cleared it up.

I would say that all of this is not necessary unless trusts were injected to their mind. If I were inside their shoes, I will not believe in processes. I do hold myself to outcome and substance. But then, the blaring only come between the ears and not to the minds of the beholder. It means this is a factor that contributes fiercely to "fire-fighting syndrome."

(ii) The "never-ness" of looking deeply into the big pictures ahead.

Ahead lies the big plain blue oceans of wonder. In front of them are piles of chunk and bits that were originated from nowhere. It appears to be blocking some of the views and blatantly concealed all the wonders. It also allow waves of fire to inflict more damages without a spill of a solution.

Just because of that, they will never see the spirit of the "existency" to begin with. Should they ask "why", certainly the contour will appear by themselves, clearly. If the "answers" were the sought elements, then fire-fighting will never happen. The order will be very clear. The purposes will served itself and the plate of "motivation" will be a better course to dine on.

But, then again, nobody realize it and let it all be flowing down with the river of time.

(iii) No questions are allowed.

Jump into the fire and you shall become the happiest person ever. Free from any liabilieties. Do not forget this though "Enter at your own risks" and no question is allowed at all! I do not think I am able to venture further to this factor but it does contribute.

So what? Ok. Let me tell you about the impact. Clearly "Fire-fighting syndrome" will:

(i) Get you no further than where you started;

(ii) also consumes resources and saps morale; and

(iii) will permanently decrease your perfomance and efficiency.

Any Solutions? Well, frankly speaking, I am thinking for it right now. I just hope that I will get "acquaintance" with solutions as soon as possible.

I hope that I will not grow to become one of the "Members of Real Orthodox Neural System" or in abbreviation (MORONS).

Of Commenting.

2008-01-07T13:13:00.000+08:00

Why rate?

- Because you like it. And think that it deserves it!

Why comment?

- Because you think that there are more rooms available for improvement.

- Because you are a 'critique freak'.

- Because you hate it.

- Because there is an 'option' to do it.

- Because it is rewarding.

- Because it satisfies your thirst for condemning other peoples thot!

- Because you have the rights to do it.

- Because you think you are better than them.

The truth is:

- You are way far behind its league.

- You do not have any idea of it.

- Commenting will make you feel good about yourself.

- You do not have anything better to do.

- You are a freaking idiot

- You are a snob with big flashing red nose! And you think that is good.

- You are helping to improve things.

But then:

- You do not even bother to comment.

- Do not remember to do it.

- Feel that it is not worth to comment.

- You are just one step further to the eternal damnation.

- you are an ally to 'Satan'.

- you are just a freak

so be it.

Stop Commenting!

Of a Picture

2008-01-06T21:46:00.000+08:00

Let it speaks for itself..

Of the End of 2007

2007-12-31T18:35:00.000+08:00

Today is the last day of 2007. I am still in the middle of encrypting some thots into my 360. In my office. Tomorrow will be the beginng 2008. But my life is still benign. My story goes blaa dee blah. As the clock spins the truth is still unanswered. Emptiness has lurked my aims. I almost lost my grip.

People as usual encroach their life by renewing their resolution. By percentage I believe 50% do not achieve whatever things that they had resolute at early of this year. Gross. I am too. In fact, I do not even realize what my resolutions was. Nope. Hate me. Ditch me. Grope me. But forgive me for I still can not recall it.

Well, I want to thanks Mr. Stephen R. Covey for the habits of succesful people. Sir, with all due respect, it is already there and believe me you are just naming it as such so that it would sell and make you gazillions of profits. I wanted to tell you that it is not that impressive to come out with the 8th, 9th, 10th or whatever trick you have under your sleeve. It should tell that, all readers who reads your self help books do not have what it takes to achieve the 'glory' effect and spare me to say that they are edging to become a loser.

Next is to thank Mr. "who-dont-sweat-under-small-stuffs". Please observed that the sweats are small enough to provide you. Bad B.O., Smelly armpits, rashes and all its related illness. Please be reminded that the small stuff called "atom", had carved its name into this world history namely "Nagasaki" and "Hiroshima" and still nobody sweats to this? Do explain.

Oh about globalisation, it is good that there is a brain that actually working this planet. Mr. Friedman.. Thomas L.Friedman, your are absolutely right. Nobody can stop a "tsunami" except the Almighty Creator Himself. You Know Who. But still they believe that Internet which was provided only and ONLY prove to become a "tool-of-entertainment". SO BE IT. Leaves us "toads" under our own roof and only watch the beauty of "information" through "filtration" and "sedimentation". Leave us be for you are the one who are going to dominate this world forever. Information technology are not for the young ones.

Frankly, 2007 is an era of modern technology. Everything must be wireless or otherwise be called OBSOLETES. Surroundings at the age of an infant has been poked with PSP (PlayStation (R) Portable) or Wii. The ultimate exercise recommended today. Do not worry. We adults had miraculously found all cures for all deseases including heart attacks, stress related illness, diabetics and all. Do not worry. The future lies within our hands. Just swallow whatever we feed you son.

Lots more for me to scrawl. But that would make me a gruesome idiot. I am way better than that. I should be better than you 2007. I am going to head to 2008 with my lightning transportation. Catch me if you can.

OF BEING GRATEFUL

2007-12-07T16:43:00.000+08:00

We really had it with all the rumours, false accusations and silly appeal for obnoxious rights. They think that they have the rights to do that after they accused the Government of Malaysia for "marginilising" them. They claim that the administration had intentionally leave them to the level of destitute. Yet, they are "forgetting" something.

The truth are being not being sung. The accusations are abhorrent. They are pushing it too much and to the limit. They took the political stability here for granted. Maybe they were thinking that they are the most unfortunate and not being crude enough to be this fellow countrymen.

The "back bone" of the country which are currently being smashed directly with this malignant and misbehaving is still in control. Actually after what these irresponsible group of people had done, we can see that the "sway" are still abstaining themselves from taking rash action. Which they could done at a stroke of a fountain-pen. Why? Because we are no thugs. We have lived the day by abiding the law. That is why.

But, still the unruly goes on. Words spread and it has put an unwanted scars to the history of our beloved Malaysia. This will later be remembered by all generations for a very long time as bad pun. As a result of that, the short term impact that were experienced by us are, blocked traffic, plans interrupted, consciousness are intimidated and country's image is tarnished. This surely has gone overboard.

Personally I look to the point that they felt secluded mainly because of their lifestyle. In addition, through movies from their original country influence. They display themselves as "divinely" strong and nothing can stop them even if the world has to come to an end for their admiration and believes. Only by doing it the "hard-way" then they would be "listened-to" whilst they can do it in a better ways!

The foundation of their fathom and their mindset is a total miscontrues. These confused beliefs originated from "haggledy-piggledy" minds, irresponsible and are clouded with self-interests. If they are so cared about what their beliefs, they could gather the "manpower" and their influence to churn some profits. Run a business, sell something, generate some money rather than becoming a brawler?

The thing is, we are living in the same climates. Eating at the same foods. Dynamicly existed as a proud nation for at least 50 years. A period of maturity. We should look forward and for God graciousness sake, we are not that stupid and unfortunate compared to others outside this country. We share the same educations, speaks of the same language and we do trade at the same currencies. Again why must this mishaps occurs? I do not understand.

Finally, I believe maybe everybody including me should take a breather. We should think and compare our beliefs about becoming a nation. A proud nation where everybody's blood is red and the bone is white. No matter of ethnicity and races. It is a vision that could be and not even possible to be achived Moreover, globalisation is a rapid wave. Inability to cope with that wave will later leaves us behind. Not only the seccluded group will be as per claimed, but our Nation will be seccluded and will cease its existence as a proud nation where most of the developed countries do 'take a bow' of respect for our achievement now. Therefore, i still hold a very strong hope deep inside the bottom at my heart for greater unity and shall not approve this vociferous actions.

OF INVESTING AND STOCK MARKETS

2007-11-30T20:28:00.000+08:00

The truth is, I am still a green grass at the investing field. I have started (virtually) with RM250K of capital and within 2 months I had Lost RM100K. I do not know how much further am I going to lose if I venture further into investing in stock market.

I vividly remembered that previously an ex-remiser which happens to be a friend of mine told me that Malaysian capital market is not about how much you are gaining but actually about how much you are willing to lose.

Frankly, I have no significant background on stocks, investing bla.. bla.. blah.. at all. But there is something inside me which is having an indefinite love to watch figures and charts.

Then there is this 'Bursa Pursuit'. A virtual investment game designed by 'Bursa Malaysia' came across the community. It began last October. The game is about to gain as much profit as you can after being granted (virtual) money amounting to RM250K. In relation to that they had also created an environment that mimics the real stock market for the investor to trade. All the codes, the stock's names, the price and the charting is almost as real as at the outside market. They also feature out the announcement of companies, corporate exercises, warrants, Indices and everything. The best thing amongst all is the personal game portfolio where you could watch your perfomance as you invest through the game.

Participants of the game can buy or sell, calculate the profits or loss and also see the actual trading history. Be remembered that the game also 'charges' fees as per real web brokerage of which is at 0.42% for every transaction made.

The game was designed for those who do not have any background on stock investing like me . The risks are real, but the cost is Zero. It did serves its purpose which are to educate and to expose younglings like me to the Malaysian capital market. For that, I tagged along and played for almost about 2 months of market days until it closes for good today for the year 2007.

It was fun but of course it is a little bit of 'cursings and swearings' as I do not even have a tiniest clue of what I am doing. I was eager and too keen. I had became impatient. I do not do my homework. Furthermore the pressure 'bullish' after I had to compete against myself and my friends. I had no game plan. Later I found out that I am losing my capital instead of gaining to any profit.

That indiscipline investment had made me losing control. It adds more after I followed a tip from a friend to invest into China's Structured Warrants. The moment it marched into the game, everybody was buying. As usual most of the amateur investors fail to calculate the risks. Therefore, everybody was losing including me. It was a sad moments the losses are irrevoccable and unalterable.

The point is, the game had really teaches me something. Investing directly in stock market is not just for a fun nor it is a playing matter. It is a game which tests your discipline and serenity. It also teaches me to be greatful of what you are having and protecting it from falling into ailing apprehension. Any decision made means that you are making, even to the smallest transaction, a step further to the double-edged risks. It does not matter ether you gain or loss. It has been decided. Nobody could change it. So be it.

Moreover, investing teaches me not to become an avarice. Avariciousness will always lead to greater loss. It has it's "gripping" effect and "married" effect. Meaning that. Once you lock in a buy or sell, matched features will leave you either gaining profit from it or put you through a losing streak. A "stop-loss" is a merely a tool to prevent you from falling into greater disaster. If your are hoping to re-gain after the losses, in the moment, amateurs will find themselves bounded to "hopeless". In due time you will give up and then surrender to your losses forever.

Personally I say that I am going to miss the intense feeling when I watched the fluctuating prices and volumes, booking profits and stop-lossing. I am sure to participate again next year with more confidents and pride. Next is a target to become a winner.
____

note: Bursa - bourse

To The Person Who Bounces Back

2007-11-28T15:02:00.000+08:00

For you...whatever.. and get a life..

http://medcham.blogspot.com/

Men oh Men

2007-11-28T12:13:00.000+08:00

Hey... Got A Life?
Spare me a Change?
Im in short of something.

Certain human beings do not realize that they are committing mistakes and wrongdoings all the time. Even the most meticulous human on earth will suffer to this disease. The thing is, the said pain do not physically protrude as a broken bone coming out of your elbow. But the pain is still there.

Human are borned in a way that they will always look for perfection. A nature that was carefully selected and bestowed upon us by the Almighty Allah. In relation to that, human will always scavenge for perfection until he finds it. To a human, once the satisfaction quota has been achieved, the exploration will cease and he/she will further the chase into another sector.

In order to get the gauge filled, Allah had created another factor. This factor is called "check-and -balance". The accounted novelty is put inside another human just to mirror the explorers. It will tell either they are in the right track or had swerved to the path of destruction. Then, if I were to be in front of a mirror and to found myself blundered to the deteriorated and crumbled way, I will quickly adhered to the rule and pull myself to the correct footsteps again.

But then again, there are those who hate it so much to be corrected. These Hard-headed bozos always perceive things their own way. If a mishap should happen, they quickly point their point-finger to others and start to exclude themselves from the misdemeanor. NO such thing as a "Check-and-balance". Criticism is the 8th deadly sin and not a single item to replace it for the 8th virtue.Next thing is they will always put their feet forward and starts to waive their correctized clubs to all people. They are the utmost, unmitigated truth in the whole creation. That is what they claim.

What makes them think that way? Under their divine chapter of "seniority", humility is a non-existence. Those who evolutionize to the taste of "salt" will never admit that the salt is "masin". This proverb shall be foreign to non-Malaysian as it was derived from Malay proverb "...lebih dulu makan garam.." (earlier generation have greater wisdom than newer generation). Well, in term of wisdom yes the "salt" is "salty", but they tend to forget that salty is only for those who have the correct taste bud to taste it.

What I am trying to say is that, globalization will not going to adhere to the rules. Even the Chief Secretary of Malaysia also had stressed that Seniority has nothing to do with your ability and wisdom. Those who excel in their own field will be at a higher post. Not to forget that a principt that I shall never forget which was told by my forefathers "menunduk bukan bererti kalah, meninggi bukan bererti sombong." If this principle is applied to all human. Then the world is perfect and a perfect place to live.

LIVING THE DREAM

2007-08-12T12:13:00.000+08:00

1. nothing new in life.

2. A boring sunday.

3. Im Addicted to 'Company of Heroes.'

4. Im addicted to 'Peel Fresh." (TM)

5. I am addicted to sleep.

6. I have too much things to do.

7. I have a complicated toilet routine.

8. I wish i had a better pay.

9. I wish i had more Sundays.........

all of those mentioned above are a dream to be live.. or a live the dream..
Adios.

HOW ARE WHO?

2007-08-06T14:44:00.000+08:00

The topic of what I am about to blog does not really reflect any significant relation between each other. It is just something which I want to reflect base on my personal experience today. Well, to my dearest readers (if there is any).. consider this:

2. You enter a lift.. some of them are people who are suppose to be in higher ranks than you.. As a matter of fact, you had never encounter them directly. Which concurrently will definitely make you feel ackward, odd and obliterated. To ride from Ground Floor to another (in my case 7).. can be consider a 'helluva' ride.. In addition, they would go and chat to each of the 'passenger' about almost everything... sports, food, luncheon venue, etc. blah dee blah and you are excluded from the 'greet'.. How would you feel? Alas, what I could do is just to look at my empty shirt pocket and wiggle my finger inside my trouser's pocket.... thinking when would this dilemma ends?

3. Having a wonderful job with comfortable pay, makes me feel wonderful and at ease. But that is also main factor that contributes solely to my big 'L' (laziness) syndrome. I really hope some physical challenge comes soon so that I will be refreshed and on going.

that should be it. what say you?

LESS IS MORE

2007-07-23T08:28:00.000+08:00

There are times when fewer words have significantly more power than many.

This was certainly the case for one philosophy student who sat in an examination room with his fellow student.

The question on the paper in front of them was 'WHAT IS A RISK?'

While the rest of the students chewed their pencils, furrowed their brows and scribbled furiously, he calmly wrote his answer, stood up and walked out.

The curious adjudicator came to collect his paper.

On it, was his two-word answer.

'THIS IS'

OTHERS' VIEWS... EXPOSE YOUR SELF PLS!!

2007-06-27T08:45:00.000+08:00

After rounds of arbitrary thinking, I finally settled with an article by Brian Yap, which originally published through one of our local newspaper.

The article was never to be found anywhere then , if you are always rigid to yourself, morbid to your opinion or having an intact and emasculated flicker of interests. If so, then forget about reading what this post is about.

According to the article, you will always know what you believe plus even having a list for your favourite things, for instance, 'undeflowered' attached to Korean Dramas or Akademi Fantasia.

Now imagine, if I said I am telling you that what you are believing not only shows lack of intellectual capacity, but also simply poor taste? Certainly, you would jumped on to me and with fume and rage. How dare someone ridicule that something I love? How dare someone else insult the way I view the world?

With regards to that, Brian also told its reader that, even as difficult as it is for all of us and despite all views of those who stand on the opposite spectrum of what they read or let alone, lived in, we should choose to endure.

In addition to that, because of we are capping ourselves with mainstream way of thinking, which resulting to, too little contact with opposing views and alternative voices these days. Take these for examples, religious conservatives, racial supremacists, Neo-conservatives, orthodox and the list would goes on and on. Then you should be catching my drift.

Later on, I realise that we need to know the views and arguments of others to be certain of our own.

At end, To quote the article:

To be secure and confident of how we view the world, we all need to have our
beliefs challenged, our philosophies debated and our convictions questioned. The alternative would be like that emperor. You know, the one with no clothes
At ease soldier!

WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST TO BRING YOU THIS SPECIAL BULLETIN...

2007-06-06T12:45:00.000+08:00

Quoting : http://www.pmo.gov.my

"Oleh/By : DATO' SERI ABDULLAH BIN HAJI AHMAD BADAWI
PERDANA MENTERI MALAYSIA
Tempat/Venue : PEJABAT PERDANA MENTERI, PUTRAJAYA
Tarikh/Date : 06/06/2007
Tajuk/Title : KENYATAAN MEDIA MENGENAI PENGUMUMAN MAJLIS AKAD
NIKAH YAB PERDANA MENTERI

Pejabat Perdana Menteri

KENYATAAN MEDIA MENGENAI PENGUMUMAN MAJLIS AKAD NIKAH YAB PERDANA MENTERI

Dengan sukacitanya dimaklumkan bahawa YAB Perdana Menteri Dato’ Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi akan melangsungkan majlis akad nikah dengan Jeanne Abdullah pada hari Sabtu 9 Jun 2007 bersamaan dengan 23 Jamadilawwal 1428 Hijrah.

Jeanne Abdullah dilahirkan di Kuala Lumpur pada 29 Julai 1953 dan merupakan anak sulung daripada empat orang adik-beradik. Beliau menerima pendidikan di Sekolah Menengah Assunta dan mempunyai pengalaman yang luas dalam bidang pentadbiran dan penghotelan setelah terlibat dalam pengurusan beberapa hotel terkemuka di Malaysia, termasuk Hotel Hilton Kuala Lumpur dan Hotel Pan Pacific. Jeanne juga pernah bertugas sebagai Pengelola kediaman rasmi Timbalan Perdana Menteri dan Pengurus Kompleks Seri Perdana.

Jeanne mempunyai dua orang anak, Nadiah dan Nadene.

Majlis berkenaan akan diadakan di Seri Perdana dan akan dihadiri oleh keluarga terdekat sahaja. "

Heartiest Congratulations to Y.A.B. Prime Minister for the wedding.. my your love for your newly wedded wife and all Malaysian be blessed by Allah forever....

A YESTERDAY NOTE - PART I

2007-06-04T08:59:00.000+08:00

This is going to be a very short entry for the day.
Instinctively, I feel like leaving my house to office at 7 am. That was very early (for my typical routine) and I was thinking, maybe I could have a 'feel the ground' session before I start my job and to proceed through it without any problem.

But, on my way to office, I was bombarded with crappy and nonsensical ideas that imminently generated from an opposite gender of mine. Full stop. I do not want to venture further upon said ideas and later, ends up as a male chauvinist. Therefore, let it be.

I wonder what kind of catastrophe should I face more? Therefore, I am not going to react or make rash decision to that, without having myself 'sober' and full with food.

This is the most ambiguous entry EVER posted at this blog. To cite what I am thinking at the moment, these keywords should help and later would facilitate me to decide later. Separation, Number Two, fallen trees, money, far-away or far-fetched, fickle minded, bored, baby, car, moving out, moving on, alone, better and lastly, K800i. That should do it.

Until next time....

p/s: the pictures post are a memento of former Sec. Gen of MITI.

OF ATTITUDE....

2007-06-01T09:12:00.000+08:00

Everybody have at least one way on how to lead their life. This particular paths, usually adapted and conviniently dapple the community canvases. In a typical normal day, these spots or vivid mottled markings, are usually hidden and are unseen to normal discerns. Thefore, ordinary 'workadays' do not pester our conventionally thinking mind.

In contra to that, I am very much attracted to `human' abnormalities. Their irrational thinking and feat is a most sensational material to me. I would be at my best liberty to 'dig' or 'scoop' upon these undertakings. Personally, I believe that it is so friggin interesting to find out why they did act as such?

Point number one. The new re-organization had been in operation since early of this year. It was greatful moment to the ministry for the authority had approved new additional posts, new sections and divisions altogether . The approval is a definite bless. It also means, there are bigger chunk of opportunities opened especially for those eligible personnel to be promoted. Therefore, new posts to be filled in soon with (again) any "eligible" and "capable" persons.

Point number two. In subsequent to that, the current human capital is yet enough to fill in all the new posts. Which means, Human Resource Department to request new 'bloods' to automate the structures. So they did..

Point number three. I do not know what had happened then until one day I did saw a 'MIDGET' (figuratively speaking and no offence whatsoever to all nice little people), with a corny looking 'MOUSTACHE', silly looking (red-in-color) hair, and to date, probably the cockiest snob-looking fellow, standing at the front door of my main entrance of the building. (Oh, the shirt was red in color, with yellow polka dot necktie.. the shoe? Worst, it has a tiger stripe with it..?)

Then my first impression towards him that this 'nutter' might be, with a private firm or some layman having a business with my working place. I swore to myself so that I am not going to be working with that 'odd wit'. So, be it. But, after sometime.. I was totally wrong. This 'idiosyncracies' is one of those who are 'dumped' here to fill in to the newly created posts.. and the domino effect quickly transcended beneath my skins.. I then grew weary and begining to disgust at this guy's guts. Not only because of his puerile looks, but you will definitely are going not to disagree more with me as I venture further.
This 'nitwit' was firstly posted at Min. of Foreign Affair and later on to Min. of Internal Affair. I had learned that in between the frames, this silly had thousands of attitude problems. Quoted and unquoted, finally he is 'abdicated' to my place. (Please bear in mind that, this does not means that my min. is dumping place for those 'weirdos', it is just a "misfortune")

And today, I had a full-proof that this "beefcake" is going to be a troublesome... Following is the email that was sent to him to one of the directors to show his dissatisfactions:

"*note: the red-in-color statements is what i will say to his FACE...if i were to receive this kind of email."

Subject: Permohonan Tempat Letak Kereta (Request of Parking Lots)
Saudara, <----(you do not adress any of your higher ranking officer as this, Sassypant!!!!)
I refer to your Minute today (Ref. No. ) on the above:
2. I would like to acquire the following:
2.1 On para 2(i), it was informed that officers were allocated several parking lots. I was informed that the other lots were made available to other staffs. In your minute, you informed me that all 200 were allocated for officers only. Please clearly define the statement of "Officers. <---you do not 'INSTRUCT' your higher ranking officer to "Clearly Define" anything to you, imprudent prune!!"
2.2 On para 2(ii), you gave me information on the current status of officers in this Ministry, which was approved by (authority) in the new restructuring of (ministry). This is irrelevant information to me. <-- Who are You to question, you imbecile!!
2.3 On para 2(iii), you wrote that only senior officers will be given parking lots. What about senior officers that are transferred from other Ministries? Are they not considered "Senior" as well? Also, I noticed that not only senior officers are given parking lots, the new officers from recent intakes were given. Can you clarify and define "Senior"? <--- again.. you do not 'INSTRUCT' your higher officer to 'DEFINE' things to you puny brat!!
2.4 On para 2(iv), it was noted that officers of senior rank are given temporary parking lots and approval given for limited time. If that is so, then why the fuss of asking new officers of their license and registration documents when they report duty to this (ministry)? Why not wait until there are available car parks and then ask for their personal documents? <-- previously in your working deparment.. EVERYBODY know that not even a parking availble specifically for officer.. it was a first come first serve basis... be greatful pls alien!
3. I hope that you can give me the necessary explaination on the above queries. Furthermore, please do return my copies of license and registration documents, since your unit has considered not to give us parking lots due to "insufficient" park lots. <--- you are one spoil brat trust me.. the only thing that deserve you the most is a kick in your piehole!!
Thank you.

Justified?? You make the call..
Therefore, I am so ashamed of myself to havethis kind of a fellow to be under the same umbrella....
That is all for now..

Language and Culture

2007-02-14T10:07:00.000+08:00

Hi again.. its been a while since i dont blog.. lots of chores, grind and gripe to grip on... and i do not have an exact amount of time to spend for blogging.. it is my time organization really.. can not say that it is bad.. but 'pre-occupied'... (ah.. who cares!)

lotsa things had happen between the moment.... but later to that...

today.. i would like to share an article which is composed by a colleague of mine... a brilliant article really.. it is about how the perception templates which borned together with us... but then again.. I will tell about perception later....

To begin with, frankly speaking, I am not a linguistic. So, dialectology, morphology, syntax, phonology do not really echoed within the context of my mind... A friend of mine (a lingustic 'basically'), informed me that some westerners are putting a lot of efforts to study our language..

According to him they are researching the dialect from the perspective of :

1) speech acts (from the manner of context and social viability)

2) Usage itself (as well as other inflections - prefix, affix and suffix)

3) Idiolect (dialect map) -- ie Pasir Mas dialect (Pasir Mas is one of the district in Kelantan)

4) Nasalization of vowels (from the vowel sound produced at dialects, or phonology)

5) Issues aroused from sociolinguistic -- (social status, demography, gender influence, uniqueness of the dialect in community, linguistic convergence/divergence)

6) reduplication (morphology of language and so on)

7) Language acquisition...

and the list would go on..

(special thanks dedicated to Mohd Husni Ab. Aziz, Putrajaya for explaining this)...

there u go.. gone cross eyed already?... pardon me... let me illustrate that with terms which I would also consider as bearable...

I am a Kelantanese (one of the states, located at the east penisular of Malaysia). a typical orthodoxies to be exact! Meaning. I talk with dialect. A very thick dialect. Sometime the other Kelantanese would need specific thesaurus be installed inside their mind just to avoid misinterprete what I am trying to say... *tsk*

Consider the following elaboration..

'Mujo' or 'mujur'(pronounce as (Moo-jow) in Standard Bahasa Malaysia (Malay Language) means "fortunate" or "lucky". In Terengganu, it means more than that. Mujo is an attitude, a testament to the optimism of the Terengganu* folks.

(Terengganu is another state located at south east side of Kelantan.. the dialect is almost the same... a major difference is that the Terengganunese tends to put a lot of +ng at end of any word that last with the letter n. ie: (fish) Ikan - Ikang (pronounce 'ee-kang')

I believe that Terengganunese are optimistic. I haven't heard of any suicides there yet. No news whatsoever of people jumping down from coconut trees or drinking expired budu (preserved anchovy thick sauce) neat in order to expire themselves. You must remember that Terengganu people once lived with ferries, morning papers that came in the night and other things people in the West Coast take for granted. In spite of doing without 4D shops, discos, malls or Hot Spot-enabled coffee houses, they are surviving well without any mental hospital in sight. All because they have mujo. Like I mentioned previously, mujo encapsulate a philosophy in itself. It means one should thank God that it is not worse. Time for an illustration.

(Cut to a scene of 3 village ladies
in their kemban washing clothes by the village well)
Mok Long
Selamoh: "Guane doh adik mung Mek? (How is your brother Mek?)
Mok Teh Som: Bakpe pulok adik die? (What happened to her brother?)
Mok Long
Selamoh: Laaa! Mung dok tau ke Som? (You don't know Som?)
Mok Teh Som: Dok tau setarang kita.
(I don't know anything)
Mok Long
Selamoh: Adik Mek ni kena langgor lori kemareng. (Mek's brother was knocked down
by a lorry yesterday)
Mek Beso: Bukang
lori Mok Long, beng ikang! (It wasn't a lorry Mok Long, it was a fish
van)
Mok Long
Selamoh: Mujo bukang lori! (Lucky it wasn't a lorry)
Mok Teh Som: Pah tu? Terok ke?
(Then? Was he seriously injured?)
Mek Beso: Kaki
patoh sebeloh...... (One leg was broken)
Mok Teh Som: Mujo dok patoh due due
(Lucky both legs weren't broken)
Mok Long Selamoh: Tu
pong mujo dreba beng dang brek. (It was lucky that the van driver braked in
time)
Mek Beso: Mujo
beng tu dok laju.. (Lucky the van wasn't going fast..)
If both legs were broken, the response would be "Mujo dok pecoh pala". (Lucky the head wasn't broken) If the head WAS broken, the response would be "Mujo dok mati". (Lucky he didn't die) If the worst happened and the brother died, the mujo would still surface. "Mujo lah bukang adik kita". (Lucky it wasn't my brother) You get the drift..... Mujo. A nice word. Adopt it. Embrace it. It will preserve your sanity.

special thanks dedicated to Ahmed Syam Che Kub, Pusat Bandar Damansara, a Kelantan (Totok-java word for "orthodoxies") for sharing the article......

Do you get what I mean???

Lucky? Yeah I Guess

2006-10-18T13:44:00.000+08:00

To me luck comprises only 20% of my life. Meaning the percentage to get lucky is only at a very small portions. Phrases such.. "u are so lucky", "luck is on my side...", "bla bla luck bla bla".. do not always happen to me. Neither it will happen everyday. Hence, I would also did not bother to even put a slightest hope to get lucky.
Frankly speaking, in living manner, I consider myself as a simple and practical person. It is so hard for me to say that im lucky or in line of luck. Say for instance, my recent Diploma result. To my understanding, I am too close of getting myself included in the Excellent list. But i presume luck came in and unfortunately mine landed to the other side of the fence. In the end I am always greatful at any outcome.
Many months after that, there I am again. It seems that I had fall into the pit of getting lucky again. This time it is the different situation. Neither did i purposely bid myself into it. It was a bookshop. I was scanning for a book to buy. Luckily I found three books bounded upon each other that caught the glimpse of my interest. The maths is simple 'Freakonomics'+'The World is Flat'+'Blink' = RM82.50... It was an awesome offer. Then i gulped and that was the signal of i-cant-resist-the-offer thing. If I were to buy the book at singles price, it may ends me with a peculiar over RM100... Well practically I could not afford that.. So, I decide to grab it...
Before I went to the cash counter, I browse for few more books. I really found Azizi Ali's literatures at most interest rate of excitement. The feeling is like I am about to gnaw at a plate of meatball's spaghetti or nice warm banana fritters with fruity ice tea. Then my luck rolls it's dice again when suddenly one middle-aged guy approached me. The gestures of his eyes was dartedly focus to the book I've grabbed earlier.
He asked me, " Are you gonna buy that?"
"Yes, Sir! Absolutely. I think it is at a very affordable and reasonable price..."
"Well yeah.. why not.. But I ve also bought three sets of that previously. I'm intending to make it as gifts to my nieces. Unfortunately, one of them had already posseses the set. So I don't know either I could return it or not. But i'm thinking of reselling it to anybody who would be interested in it... Would you take it for RM70?"

Well.. why not? Then Im saving myself for RM12.50, which later could afford me to have a plate of Meatball's Spaghetti... I m not taking any chances and quickly ive agreed to pay for it. It is a double Luck for me that day... so here I am.. still reading the book cant wait to peek at another two... I guess im just Lucky again... And if that Chinese guy is reading this again. im saying that im so thankful for the books as the contents is inevitably priceless.......

Malaysia Inc. through the lense of an Ant..

2006-10-13T14:57:00.000+08:00

To be in Malaysia as one of the most wonderful countries in the world I would sacrifice my previlige of a liberalise person. I would always consider Malaysia as one big company incorporated after succumbed to colonization for more than a hundred years. As a big company, it will be set in motion by the executives of the company. So, not to forget there are also minority shareholders in it. Meaning I am also in it at the smallest portion. Even the heartfelt of the pride is as huge as a planet.

Crux of the point is, as one of the shareholders, definitely I do not want to put my Employer to the state of jeopardy or at stake. But the effort of keeping it to the highest level of security not is tireless. But despite of that, I am onnly being victimized and manipulized as the TITANS of Post would simply trample the minorities like me. In addition they would do that with ease.

Therefore, as a Company, it should not always look up to the majority (even if this is the reality) but must also take account of the minorities as well. In line with that, encouraging more remunerations and awards to both parties would strengthen the commitment to the organization, then everybody will now enjoy the previlige of being a part of the team.

As to that, the band of remuneration should be set to be base on TRUE Key Perfomance Index or maybe better indicators. This also means, incentives should be awarded to only those with TRUE and proven qualification. Plus maybe a working group or even to the extent of an individu. Better transperencies or zero tolerance to fraudulent practices should be excercised.

One big question was slapped to my face after I discussed this matter with one of my trusted colleagues is that why should I bring this up after almost half of the centuries the company continues to practice the claimed 'infidelity'? Why now? Well, simple. Maybe experts have been thinking and stupendous proposals or papers have been put up, tabled to IMPROVE things but only the power of DECISION making is overuling all the ideas. Horrandious, but this does not means that all the decisions is bad. This is only a tiny or could be consider as 'ant-brained' me on relinquishing my view pertaining to the matter. Or am I wrong here?

Well, to me, true KPI or benchmarking is one of a brand of intergrities and trasperencies which should be neatly practiced. This would also promote towards healthy competencies and increase perfomances among shareholders as they are also in the same vessel. Only some of them are still green being wear the same vest of charters to achieve. This is also to be seen as another advantage to prevent any doubt and will definitely nurture better governance as well as re-gain ultimate form of respect from the human capital sector.

Therefore, I strongly hope and suggest that Malaysia Inc. will lay off poor perfomances rowers, sell all bad paddles, canceled all capital investments for old way of thinking, halt the sustaining of negative vibes and so-called canoe of secrecy and award the high perfomance to TRUE green chapter of shareholders. Not to forget to venture and embark on a new journey to distribute the reputation as bonuses to the Stakeholders and the company as well.

Experiencing DPA Hangover!

2006-07-12T14:35:00.000+08:00

Good Day..
Hi everybody. It is a day that is full of memories to be remembered. Usually, (6 Months Ago), sharp at 9 am, all of us, with full suite, will stand in front of an Emcee.. and all of us will Sang this song as stated in fully translated lyric below. Unfortunately i cant upload the marching tune ere..

Sentiasa selangkah di hadapan

(Always a step ahead)

Dijadikan Pedoman

(Be given as a guidance)

Itulah iltizam kami peserta

(That is our Determination)

Diploma Pengurusan Awam.

(The Public Management Diploma's Participants)

Keteguhan Sahsiah dan Pekerti

(Our Impregnable Calibre)

Lambang Keunggulan PTD

(As a crest of PTD's Excellence)

Kesopanan dan Kesusilaan

(Our Curteous and Ethics)

Jadi Keutamaan

(Be as our Precedence)

Kami berikrar, terus berusaha

(We had vowed, to keep on striving)

Menjiwai Keunggulan

(to instill spiritually the distinction)

Sifat Mulia, Teguhkan Keterampilan

(Dignity, Strengthening the charisma)

Asas Ke Arah Kecemerlangan

(The Chalice of Superiority)

Perkhidmatan Tadbir Diplomatik

(Diplomatic and Administration Service)

Jasa Kepada Pertiwi

(an act of pride to the Country)

Meneruskan Tradisi Ini

(To continue with the tradition)

Aspirasi dan Komitmen kami.

(Our greatest commitment and aspiration)

After that we will undergo wether lectures, Excercises and so forth.. At that moment we detest that. Some of us will try to make fun of it. But to me, the song is something to remind me that im being accepted to be in the Malaysian's Government Premier Service. Moment by moment, we inextricably being churned to be proud of the service.

Beautiful.. and spritually uplifting.

As for this.. some of us (including me) still experience the DPA hangover..

this song will always remain in our mind as a reminder to furnish Excellence into our daily career life.

Nevertheless, one of my friend had uttered that :

"this is a pill.. in fact.. the best pill to swallow.. Screwing ur service up will only left u more vulnerable and susceptible to worse thing that u could ever think of..."

So in order to keep on going with this reality, ritually, i ve started to wear the proud blue tie and white Shirt to office every Monday to the office. this is just to exhibit my allegiance to the batch's Pride (1/2005). Which will never be fading no matter how long the time will go....

I hope someday this will be instilled within all of our Batch's-Member's Heart..

With that i'll leave a few key points for me and all of u readers outside and including the community, which if uttered to me will remind me to all those moments at Diploma Pengurusan Awam.

Tn Mazlan, Lectures, Unit Cetak, INTAN, Lust, Gossips, Friends, Backstabbers, UDPA, TOPI, En. Yaman, Football, Futsal, 243, INTENGAH, PULADA, FRAM, OBS Cherakah... and the list will always goes on.

Cherish...

1/2005

.....................

.... Priceless...

...........................

Cest La Vie Ma Cherie

2006-07-10T09:33:00.000+08:00

Entry for July 09, 2006

Mahalo to all..
should be entertaining though.. i hope that it would be...
it has been a week since im back to my position in my office... after a very long paused of vacation.. DPA 1/2005... i were there for six (6) months.. lotsa things had happened... pre-occupied by virtual living.. sharing laughters, sadness, downcast and etc... i ve really learned something.. ive already carved it to my "memoir's-tombstone" at the bottom of my heart.. it says...

"Dignity, pride, always falls under humility.. After all, things u gripe and u thought u deserve it were not meant to be yours in the first place... leave all the dishearten moments behind, take it positively and wisely churn it to become a lesson of ur life..teach it to those who want to learn..love, hatred, detests, will always test us... the strength of humility is the only thing that will win forever. Never feel discouraged by all the negative junctures. Whenever you feels that the world that u try to build starts to fall apart, do not despair. Somebody along ur lifetime will come and pick the pieces up. The only thing that is to do is to let them to help u. Open ur heart and arms. Therefore, u will not feel put aside anymore. Smile and move on.."

Ok.. thats all for today...

Farewell & Good Luck to U

2005-12-23T17:56:00.000+08:00

ok.. today is my last day working for the year.. i will start my holiday by tomorrow...
and then

LIVE HELP DESK WITH MA SHRINK!

2005-12-22T12:50:00.000+08:00

This is WhiteCat..

and this is PandaDog...

Place. Hell. - Day Morning

WhiteCat : tapioca
PandaDog: hahahahhaha
PandaDog : WhiteCat.. if u found anything on life.. or u ever stumbled upon some written form of life facts... lexicons.. subtle and nuances for instance.. forward it to me.. thanks
PandaDog: look in ur emel
PandaDog: thanks
PandaDog : got meeting with puan Singa-Girl... c ya latter
PandaDog "D

2 hours later

PandaDog : r u there
PandaDog : r u there
WhiteCat: yup
WhiteCat :terkejut i
PandaDog: hi
PandaDog: i nak tanya u laa..
PandaDog: apa pendapat u terhadap my immediate boss
WhiteCat : who?
WhiteCat : cik D
WhiteCat : she's ok wat
PandaDog: ok ..
PandaDog: ok??
PandaDog: takpe lah
PandaDog: never mind
WhiteCat : tapi i dun think i click with her dat much
WhiteCat: she's ok wat
PandaDog: thanks
WhiteCat: its not dat i dun agree with her on many things
WhiteCat: its just dat.. well, give her some slack.. she's not married, and yet she's not getting younger, and she's not the type who "mingles socially"
WhiteCat: y?
PandaDog: i always got the blame upon her work..
WhiteCat: y?
PandaDog: seolah2 dia nak escape the work.. i dont know
PandaDog: im new perhaps
PandaDog: and i dont really understand how the culture of working here goes...
PandaDog: in fact i think i kinda understand why our SINGA-MAN becomes so Grumpy
WhiteCat: well
WhiteCat: maybe u still haven't got the hang of it
PandaDog: i dont know, maybe......
WhiteCat: dun get me wrong, but HELL's working culture is a bit different.
PandaDog: seems like im doing blunder.. and mistakes a lot..
WhiteCat: i myself didn’t quite got used to it the first two months
PandaDog: i dont know and confused between right and wrong.
WhiteCat: u just have to learn to adapt tho. it takes hard work adapting to a new environment
WhiteCat: takpelah
WhiteCat: dun think so much
WhiteCat: ur going off 4ur DPA later
PandaDog: usually it is not as hard as this
PandaDog: yeah
PandaDog: hey, d'ya know what...tomorrow should be my last day of working
WhiteCat: after dpa then get a re-think
PandaDog: re-think?? whaddaya mean?
PandaDog: do i have any CHOICE?
WhiteCat: re-think meaning tukar division ke
WhiteCat: yes, my friend. u do have a choice
WhiteCat: it's just whether ur actually gonna get it or not
WhiteCat: heheh
WhiteCat: and also on how hard you've worked at getting that other choice
PandaDog: i feel like im stucked in a box
PandaDog: how hard of getting that choice.. hmmmm
PandaDog: and how do i channel my appeal ??
PandaDog: feels like im unimportant... insignificant..... worthless.. "melukut ditepi gantang!" PandaDog: if u know what i mean
WhiteCat: dun think of it now la.
WhiteCat: u can find out more after dpa.
WhiteCat: bkn i tak nak bgtau u how
PandaDog: i dont expect for limelite or red carpets.. or any trophy.. i just want to make sure either things of what im doing at the moment is right or wrong.
WhiteCat: even if you go direct to pengarah tak semestinya dapat
PandaDog: yeah i know
WhiteCat: ok now?
WhiteCat: i bought myself a book yesterday
WhiteCat: but none of them chic lits
WhiteCat: "The Little Book of Scientific Principles, Theories and Things"
WhiteCat: Loved it the first time I laid eyes on it
PandaDog: wow. that sounds really cool!
PandaDog: Dale Carnegie’s will never bore me. .. ;D
WhiteCat: Mahal wo... RM38.. Isy.. tutup mata je lah
WhiteCat: i got one on Dale Darnegie
PandaDog: Mitch Albom also do too... i love his "Tuesdays with Morrie" and “Five People You’ll Met in heaven”
WhiteCat: still havent finished reading it yet
PandaDog: Billy Lim's Dare to Fail is also Intersting..
WhiteCat: Mitch Albom - dunno, but read blurbs on those books. yep.. interesting
PandaDog: i used to read Lillian Too's Feng Shui.. and found out more craps than facts .. Superstitious freak
WhiteCat: D2F.. okay gak.. really inspiring
PandaDog: yerp
PandaDog: I dare... i fail.. yet ... i make an outcome.. (more failure..)
WhiteCat: "ur tenant are ur jewels".. by some chinese lady.. quite an interesting read. book so expensive lorr.. wat masa ni tak dpt beli laa..
WhiteCat: i hate lilian too
WhiteCat: i know
WhiteCat: i dun believe in it
PandaDog: "ur tenant are ur jewels" <-- u r the second one who recommend this book.. WhiteCat: i wanna be a property owner one day WhiteCat: meaning, i wanna make ma own dosh dat way WhiteCat: PandaDog: "ur tenant are ur jewels" <-- u r the second one who recommend this book.. >>> REALLY? TAK SANGKA LAH PULAK!
PandaDog: yeah..
PandaDog: “unsangkarable” things do happens.. S**t Happens too...
WhiteCat: unsangkarable?? -- >> LOL WhiteCat: S**t Happens too --- >> You 'think' so?
PandaDog: i do clean my FOXHOLES every morning..
PandaDog: i dah kena palitannye dis morning
WhiteCat: PandaDog: i do clean my FOXHOLES every morning.. >>> huh?
WhiteCat: PandaDog: i dah kena palitannye dis morning double huh?
PandaDog: yeah.. if u know what i mean ..
WhiteCat: haha
WhiteCat: tak pahamlah PandaDog
PandaDog: tak pe takpe...
PandaDog: i pun tak faham
WhiteCat: bagilah paham
WhiteCat: hahaha... lawaklah u
PandaDog: [Change of topic] saw Sad this morning.. well .. as usual.. that the only thing that give new meaning at this HELL... while others?.. Demeaning and Irritating... not to forget... we have our 'Singa'.. ready with mouth wide open to chew ur head..
PandaDog: at (x)th floor..
PandaDog: nyaris i kena.. at least i ve escaped half headed....
WhiteCat: singa?
WhiteCat: hehe
WhiteCat: jahat u
PandaDog: the other half got chewed.. and i am badly severed .. emotionally WhiteCat: how chewed is chewed?
PandaDog: i dont know.. but im now monocular
PandaDog: instead of binocular
PandaDog: ahhahahahhaahhahahh
PandaDog: if u know what i mean.....
WhiteCat: "A slice of toast sliding off a plate or table has a natural tendency of landing butter side down"
WhiteCat: if u know wat i mean
PandaDog: i dont know what u mean... but i really want mine with icing!!
WhiteCat: wait, 2mrw is ur last day?
PandaDog: yes it is my dear
WhiteCat: emm..

[Tipical Malaysians.. on Money]

WhiteCat: i hate my landlord
WhiteCat: she is such a friggin cow!!! aaarrgghhh..! the devil in her!
WhiteCat: sorry, but i just had to say it out loud
PandaDog: emm i ve posted new "thing" at my blog.. u should read.. damn i feel good again
WhiteCat: y'know wat? i can say mean things to stupid things at immature grown ups
PandaDog: really?
PandaDog: i thnk it is pretty kind o cool
WhiteCat: like for her, i can easily say she must be deprived of shags cuz she's been behaving very badly and so menuduh membabi buta
WhiteCat: i know gurls, espesh yg bertudung shouldnt be saying mean things like dat
PandaDog: emm.. that shuld have appen...
WhiteCat: but if they deserve it, then so be it
PandaDog: who could have stopped "chicken's- Farting-arses" (if u know what i mean!) from farting aye mate? WhiteCat: ya lorr. WhiteCat: WhiteGoateiGuyFrSwk hates it whenever i say things like dat,. i dun blame him cuz i myself dun like saying it
WhiteCat: anyway, wats ur blog?
WhiteCat: i thot u deleted it
PandaDog: my new blog
PandaDog: blooddy bugger
WhiteCat: ok. its ending december. and she's hounding me pasal sewa rumah.
WhiteCat: and she went, 'if ct tak byr sewa umah, then makcik mintak ct cari umah lain bln depan.."
WhiteCat: f*ck her the social discriminator..!
PandaDog: yeahh yeahh.. that is tipikal malaysian..if it is money concern everything become soooo important.. even sex is dulll at that moment..
PandaDog: soo malaysian sooooo malaysian
WhiteCat: padahal i dah bayar awal bulan tau! and i told her that i've paid, i cant believe it that she just friggin accused me of not paying it and then had the nerve to ask me to find a new place
WhiteCat: as if her place is the "place to be in"
PandaDog: did u have any receipt..?
PandaDog: u should have one if it means proof of payment then?
WhiteCat: she shud be embarrased to have THAT bloody shack as her house
WhiteCat: yeah..
WhiteCat: i'll shove it up her stinky arse the moment i see her
PandaDog: atta gal .. go get it
WhiteCat: she'd done similar things b4, and i buat xtau jer
PandaDog: Tapiocaa tapiocaa
PandaDog: why dont u try to look for a new place?
WhiteCat: and wats pathetic? the silly woman is anti sabahan
WhiteCat: the hell with her
WhiteCat: PandaDog: Tapiocaa tapiocaa >> haha
PandaDog: i see
PandaDog: easy there girl
WhiteCat: i am trying to look for a new place
WhiteCat: since a month ago
WhiteCat: but still havent got a place
PandaDog: emm
PandaDog: what about NiceGirlFromSwk?
PandaDog: have u asked her? Afterall u quite “rapat” with her
WhiteCat: and the rent is only RM150 [dah kira mahal for a shoddy place like hers] and even the monthly maintenance is RM50
WhiteCat: usually landlord byr. but in her case, its us
WhiteCat: she is so stingy.. omg, PandaDog
PandaDog: hmm..
WhiteCat: i could go on and on and on saying mean things abt mean and discriminating and ridiculous and impossible ppl
WhiteCat: so lets change the topic
PandaDog: never mind.. i love it
WhiteCat: haha.. my temper pun tak leh dilayan sgt.. so inappropriate of me
WhiteCat: hahahah
PandaDog: im thinking of putting what we re saying here in my blog if u dont mind
WhiteCat: my dad, who imam's quite often at the local mosque at my place, wud be very crossed whenever i start to say ugly things to mean ppl. .....

the conversation ends here due to lunch hours came.. we went out.. but all of this interesting bilateral thing... fades away.. as im so busy .. eating..and laughing...

P/S: "Black... im so sorry u couldnt got your Leave Approved.... Shove the application all back to Mr.Kap Lam's Ass up buddy... by then.. he should've understand the importance of leave.... Payback dude .....payback.."

Listen to me pleaseeeeee!!!!!

2005-12-22T11:04:00.000+08:00

ok.. ok.. enough with all those nice talk.. sweet and romantic pardon... dont forget to take ur funky fake smile too with u... and ur full furnished crap that u r trying to show it to the world.. seriously..i dont give a full-f***g-d**n s**t about what people are saying about u..

So, i dont 'clicked' with u often.. and as a rookie/newbie/freshie/good-to-be-blame to-officer/scapegoat/black stool/sucker/bozo.. [pick what ur favorite, ladies and gentlemen].. i've messed up my work.. a ha.. i do make a blunder... i try to become a copycat of what good and what not.. yes i dont have my own cool looks.. im not John Wayne..i always feel inferior... i ve a blabber tounge.. and im not tough either....... but...... i just want to warn u that i have my own stand.. i stand on my own feet.. i dont really need u... i can do it by my own.. i dont have to report to u.. if u have been sooo anticipated in ur work.... stop procrastinating... stop whining.. get ur engine on.. and give out the most outstanding kick start... cross the finish line with beautiful front page shot..and start on new race, be better...... do UR JOB Properly......and somewhat ... finish it!!!

u know what.. (WTF)..... i dont really know what u had done in those past years of yours, in ur service line.. but...if u kept on pushing it, in a very good way.. u would have gone further.. maybe reaches out the sky... and not to be stucked in this HELL....Stop bugging me..and try not to snoop on my movement again .. MANNERS!!! Man,I am really hoping .. u'll always clean ur plate before u hand it out to other people.. Oh.. maybe u have not heard words like "HOMEWORK and COMMUNICATION"?.. does the sound of those words ring ur sense's Bell?..come onn... if u do.. u should have acted better .. Then, all the other counterparts wont try to pull ur 'DICK' again.. therefore, world will be a better place to fit in... Well.. im trying to make a living here dude! Try to be considerate-Lah!! Ok? *Sigh*

this is words that i want to spill out to my immediate boss.. but.. with all the protocols.. manners and.. somewhat i dont have the guts.. in fact, im still rationale, still have my legs and arms intact to my body.those are the words which appeared to me apparently after i got scolded by Senior Director in the previous meeting.. am i too Straight forward? What are the irrelevancies which should not be included in the SPEECH...? What!? What!? What?...

Ego and where u are that is the thing.... well.. my humbleself is being stomped and chewed alive.. in front of all the people.. at the meeting.. my confidences is being thrown from the seat through out the window .. amidst of the blunder i've made... tried.. but.. always being cut off.. and i mean it.. cut oooofffff..... they dont listen.. they just jumped into conclusion and there u are. left alone, shrinked out and felt like your brain is at the size of a raisin.. all ur capabilities being downsized in right in front of your very own ego.. that is it.. Downsizing is what the bosses are capable of!

They were moulded into the figure of a TITAN... Big Mouth and teeth. scally skins with horns and and 4 wings.. hovering up above the sky waiting to strike down and strangled or even chew on their prey.. [which is me.. the rookie...]flesh and blood. rawly... which again, makes them look very good. feels very good. But, from the prey's point of view, the bad thing is.. no one is there to protect u..not only that, they even... tie u up.. and usher u to the 'Beast'... u cant scream, u cant move, u cant even breath.. what u can do is just to accept Fully of what u be put at and later u'll grow up to become the 'Beast' yourself.... wait till u really grow up...
really really grow up..

GOD I NEED HELP!! (a letter to my Shrink!)

2005-12-15T12:13:00.000+08:00

Hi......

ok.. yesterday u've heard the not-supposed-to-be-heard-to-anyone phone call... and a lil bit of my conversation between the girl that ive crushed on...

ok ... then.. everything went well.. meaning.. do things.. work... Parliament.. and so on..

ive forwarded ur Text Msg (the long one maa!) to her.. without expecting anything.. she din reply... so i go to sleep....

i woke up this morning and found out this

'Click' - the sound of my Text msg alert!- [yeah i find that fancy tones irritated and annoyying.]

"ur words buat i puzzled..confuse..deep n meaningful.."

.. (i din reply.. she could has used perplexed?!) then

'Click'

"I thnk im feeling better now..malas nak pikir banyak2, esp ttg benda2 yg nobody knows the answer.. im just enjoying my life..hope u r too..hrp u ok, sihat,happy..ada problem kalu,seiya boley kasi tolong"

and'

'Click'

"Just nak betau, im leaving for pantai timur esok mlm.tganu kelantan, here we come..risau gak,long hours journey..mesti bosan.. :("

and off to work i go... without replying anything....

Yesterday.. before i went home i wrote this throgh her emel:

"that is a long pause! if onlly i could translate it back... but... unfortunately i dont have the ability to .. noo.. im sorry.. im just a silly boy

hey.. i guess this thing that i typed below would give any sense for what had happend.. i took an effort to type it. edit it... oh well.. here goes...

Intro : THIS is a scene from a old romantic movie, 'Notting Hill' Starring Hugh Grant as William Thacker and Julia Robert as Anna Scott.. Ryhs Ifans as Spike aka William's Roomate and Martin is William's Staff at the bookshop...... Now.. (drum roll pleasee!!) (the final chapter/scene from the movie!).. and i've got our sidang's List.. again.. Here goes:-

INT. BOOKSHOP - DAY

William enters -- and there stands Anna -- in a simple blue
skirt and top.

ANNA
Hi.

WILLIAM
Hello.

ANNA
You disappeared.

WILLIAM
Yes -- I'm sorry -- I had to leave... I didn't want to disturb you.

ANNA
Well... how have you been?

WILLIAM
Fine. Everything much the same. When they change the law Spike and I will marry immediately. Whereas you... I've watched in wonder. Awards, glory...

ANNA
Oh no. It's all nonsense, believe me.
I had no idea how much nonsense it all was -- but nonsense it all is...

(she's nervous)

Well, yesterday was our last day filming and so I'm just off -- but I brought you this from home, and...
It's quite a big wrapped parcel, flat -- 3 foot by 4 foot, leaning against a bookshelf.

ANNA
I thought I'd give it to you.

WILLIAM
Thank you. Shall I...

ANNA
No, don't open it yet -- I'll be embarrassed.

WILLIAM
Okay -- well, thank you. I don't know what it's for. But thank you anyway.

ANNA
I actually had it in my apartment in New York and just thought you'd... but, when it came to it, I didn't know how to call you... having behaved so... badly, twice. So it's been just sitting in the hotel. But then... you came, so I figured... the thing is... the thing is...

WILLIAM
What's the thing?

Then the door pings. In walks the annoying customer, Mr. Smith.(he used to asks stupid questions unrelated to any craps that ol' book shop is telling) hehe... (Dian)

WILLIAM
Don't even think about it. Go away immediately.

Mr. Smith is taken aback and therefore completely obedient.

MR. SMITH
Right. Sorry.

And he leaves.

WILLIAM
You were saying...

ANNA
Yes. The thing is... I have to go away today but I wondered, if I didn't, whether you might let me see you a bit... or, a lot maybe... see if you could...
like me again.

Pause as William takes this in.

WILLIAM
But yesterday... that actor asked you who I was... and you just dismissed me out of hand... I heard -- you had a microphone... I had headphones.

(at another scene... William Follows Anna to one of Anna's Play where he heard the conversation thru headphones between Anna and the Protagonis) - (dian)

ANNA
You expect me to tell the truth about my life to the most indiscreet man in England?

Martin edges up.

MARTIN
Excuse me -- it's your mother on the phone.

WILLIAM
Can you tell her I'll ring her back.

MARTIN
I actually tried that tack -- but she said you said that before and it's been twenty-four hours, and her foot that was purple is now a sort of blackish
color...

WILLIAM
Okay -- perfect timing as ever -- hold the fort for a second will you, Martin?

Martin is left with Anna.

MARTIN
Can I just say, I thought 'Ghost' was a wonderful film.

ANNA
Is that right?

MARTIN
Yes... I've always wondered what Patrick Swayze is like in real life.

ANNA
I can't say I know Patrick all that well.

MARTIN
Oh dear. He wasn't friendly during the filming?

ANNA
Well, no -- I'm sure he was friendly -- to Demi Moore (emphasise!) -- who acted with him in 'Ghost.'

She's kind in here, not sarcastic. (Dian)

MARTIN
Oh right. Right. Sorry. Always been a bit of an ass.

William returns a little uneasy.

MARTIN
Anyway... it's lovely to meet you. I'm a great fan of yours. And Demi's, of course.

Martin leaves them.

WILLIAM
Sorry about that.

ANNA
That's fine. There's always a pause when the jury goes out to consider its verdict.

She's awaiting an answer.

WILLIAM
Anna. Look -- I'm a fairly level-headed bloke. Not often in and out of love. But...

He can't really express what he feels. and So do I (dian)

WILLIAM
... can I just say 'no' to your kind request and leave it at that?

ANNA
... Yes, that's fine. Of course. I...you know... of course... I'll just...be getting along then... nice to see you.

WILLIAM
The truth is...

He feels he must explain.

WILLIAM
... with you, I'm in real danger. It took like a perfect situation, apart from that foul temper of yours -- but my relatively inexperienced heart would,
I fear, not recover if I was once again ... cast aside, which I would absolutely expect to be. There are too many pictures of you everywhere, too
many films. You'd go and I'd be... well, buggered, basically.

ANNA
I see.
(pause)
That reality is a real 'no,' isn't it?

WILLIAM
I live in Notting Hill. You live in Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world knows who you are. My mother has trouble remembering my name.

ANNA
Okay. Fine. Fine. Good decision.

Pause.

ANNA
The fame thing isn't really real, you know. Don't forget -- I'm also just a girl. Standing in front of a boy....
Asking him to love her.

Pause. She kisses him on the cheek.

ANNA
Bye.

CUT!
get it? If u know what i mean!!!?

the plain-worthless-bloke-who-thinks-he-is-damn-good-for-nothing me
Dian Nais"

and she replied... like this:

"assalamualaikum..
lately ni, awak banyak guna ayat2 yang really need me to digest it very well...
susah la saye macam ni..i might salah tafsir you know...
ntahle...saye pun tak tau...
nape awak takleh gunakan ayat terang2, straight to the point of what u really think, feel etc???
awak marah saye ke??awak bengang dengan saye ke??awak nyampah ke???awak sedih ke???awak happy ke???same jugak macam ape keputusan awak, saye tak dapat predict...awak tanak kawan lagi ape ke???nak forget je sume yang dah jadik ke???nak kawan macam biase ke???saye confius...
saye takut saye tak dapat ape yang awak harap saye dapat...
saye memang kurang biase dengan ayat2 dramatis, penuh expresion, perlu deep thinking and digestion...ntahle...memang saye suke bace ayat2 deep n meaningful ni, tapi untuk me'relate'kan die dengan situasi saye pade mase ni, saye agak kureng sikit..
harap awak faham...
tq"

ME? NEED HELP .. thanks
Over and out

MATURITY...

2005-12-06T14:35:00.000+08:00

What is maturity?? When will a person reaches out his maturity?? What do it need to be 'label' as matured?

THESE are the points and questions that wandered and keeps on hovering inside my latent mind... As a human being, and with the profession that i am sitting at the time being, i kept asking my self how to be matured.

Why do I need to be matured?
it is a thing that i really need in order for me to be appreciated. To be knowned and more over, to be respected, to be listened, to be significant. But the way I am being treated is at the other side. I am being left over, pushed aside, brushed off, considered as malevolent and seems it is as irrevocably predestined.

In a world which is full of Testosteron governance. U need to be a polyglot. Multi-tasked and fully indemnified. The substance that can only verify u to become a champion of all tally, is Maturity. That is the most indisputable and undeniable truth up to today.

Again, why? The answer lies in the fortified Maturity level that we need to acquire to live up to the par. For the purpose, we have to optimize our ability (as in mine, now,at the minimum level)to achieve the dream. Therefore, the bad feeling.. the omen, the jinx, being left out, and again.. again.. and again... being underestimated... and always becoming the last resort upon everything..

Who to blame?
No one.. because it will back-fired again to us!

How to increase it? How to get it? Perhaps Father Nature will tell...

Hi..

2005-12-01T04:30:00.000+08:00

Hi.. all.
aku nak citer pasal diri aku.. pejalanan hdup aku.. aku nak jadik seorang insan yang tak tipikal.. tapi nampaknya aku masih lagi berada dalam lingkungan ke-tipikal-an seorang manusia..
skang kalu ikut jam tangan aku pakai... dah menunjukkan pukul doblas lima minit tengahari..(12:05 noon).. perut aku dah lapa... padahal aku dah makan breakfast..

ok...
Masa ujung minggu aritu start (26 November) sampai (29 November) 2005... berlangsung satu mesyuarat diperingkat menteri-menteri perdagangan ASEAN... mesyuarat tu dah siri ke 7... (7TH ASEAN-Mekong Basin Development Cooperation, AMBDC).... aku telah ditugaskan oleh Ministry of International Trade and Industry, Malaysia, MITI (aku pegawai kat sini la).... untuk menjadi seorang pegawai perhubungan (Liason Officer, LO)... kepada Delegate atau perwakilan negara-negara anggota.... keja aku senang jer sebenarnya.. nak kena layan kehendak perwakilan tu lah.. so, kira kata aku kena duty 24 jam... hak hak hak... letih kan?

walau bagaimana pun, kena buat kerana itu adalah arahan negara kan?.. ..

Mesyuarat tu berlangsung di Hotel Mandarin Oriental Kuala LUmpur... dan aku pulak ditugaskan sebagai LO untuk negara The Philipines..
wakil negara itu adalah Mr. Luis D. Cruz, Charge D'Affaires dan pembantu dia Mr. Antonio D. Morales, Minister and Consul, Embassy of The Phillipines...... mudah citer.. Alhamdulillah.. berjaya menyelesaikan tugas tu.... ..
negara-negara lain yang menghantar wakil adalah negara Vietnam, Laos PDR, Thailand, China, Korea, Japan, Asean Development Bank, United Nations Development Programme, Cambodia, Singapore, Indonesia, Malaysia, Myanmar, Brunei and Asean Secretariat.....

some of the pictures taken i'll share with u guys... bye